When couples want to strengthen their marriage they describe their current difficulty as “we just don’t communicate”. Indeed on the surface that appears to be the number one problem; however, there is usually something else going on that makes it hard for them to communicate.
That something else has to do with where each has his/her emotional connection. If it is not with the spouse it has to be somewhere else. It can be with work, children, alcohol, drugs, affairs etc. Right now we are privy to the struggles Tiger Woods is having with his marriage. We see that his emotional connection has not been with his wife.
Recently I have coached a couple who very much desire to “save their marriage”. His emotional connection is with work and hobbies, hers is with girlfriends and parents. In order for their marriage to work they will have to make the shift to making their relationship the most important relationship.
Because they share the vision of wanting to stay together they are working hard at making their marriage their most important relationship. By making the shift to putting their emotional energy into self growth and their relationship they find that their communication problems are lessening.
