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Has this happened to you? You are in a good mood and then your partner says something and “puff” your mood changes. This is the relationship effect. It can show up in many different ways but invariably is reflects abdication of control over oneself to someone else. Let me share an example. Here is the scene. [...] Most couples that I have worked with will initially say that they do not communicate. I see their frustration with each and feel their hope that if only their partner would make some changes he/she would be fine. It doesn’t quite work that way. The solution lies in each person taking responsibility for their own [...] A friend of mine who is an action taker has as her byline: “Saying nothing sometimes says the most.” She gets involved in causes she believes in because to say nothing to her means she does not care. As I look back on my life I can see that there have been many times when [...] Most couples who are struggling with their relationship will say that the problem is communication. It looks like communication is the issue but the difficulty generally is more than words. Indeed they are frustrated with their communication but beneath that struggle is the dilemma of not knowing how to create a sense of WE in [...] In order to be fully engaged in life we have to have energy. Yet a very common refrain that I hear from people is that they do not have enough energy to do what they want to do. So they spend considerable time in passive activities like watching TV or sports. That being the case, [...] Communication occurs in between people. When communication is open it is easy. There is an understood freedom to comment on anything and communication is growth-producing. When communication is closed there are overt or silent messages that one has to be careful about what one says. The result is that self-worth is defined more and more [...] After writing 30 daily blogs I took a short break. Now I am back wanting to talk about the power of relationships on communication. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you could not be yourself? What I mean is being around someone else where you felt squelched. I can certainly recall times when [...] Today I was interviewed by Connie Ragen Green who is teaching me all about how to create a successful internet business. The focus was on my business which is teaching people how to upgrade their lives and enhance their relationships. I do this by teaching healthy self growth and relationship skills which increase happiness, [...] Strong listening skills provide the benefit of really hearing what is being said. So much unhappiness occurs in relationships because people do not hear each other. Instead, when there is disagreement, all the energy goes into defending oneself without truly hearing what is being said. My suggestion for any one struggling with not feeling understood in [...] A big part of communication is how we talk to ourselves. Our inner dialogue goes on all the time. It is there were we are aware of our insecurities, anxieties, joys, strengths and weaknesses. What we share on the outside is greatly determined by how safe we feel within ourselves. Many of the messages we say [...] |
 
  
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